“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9

I have a confession to make.  Sometimes I pray for things so that I can get credit for having prayed for them.

I know. It’s bad.  Fortunately this isn’t really my primary motivation; it’s a sneaking temptation that invades my thoughts gradually. It starts out with a pure intention: I have a need/desire/something that concerns me and I begin to pray about it.  I may even recruit others to pray with me about it.

As I continue to pray about it over days or weeks (depending how long my attention span lasts) my thoughts begin to move towards anticipation.  ”With as much prayer as I have given this, God will have to answer my prayer.”  As nonsensical as this thought is, the subsequent thought is worse: “How awesome will I look when I am able to share this story of what God did because of my faithfulness in prayer.”  With this thought, mental images of me “humbly” relaying the details of God’s generousity and my perserverance flood my brain.

And just like that, my supplication becomes a self-glorifying venture. It is no longer a humble request of mighty God, but a means to a prideful end.  It is no longer about God’s glory but my own.

How sad it is that the means of righteousness can be so easily perverted to be the means of sin!

The truth is, we have probably all seen this particular temptation acted out many times before.  We’ve heard stories of men who prayed every day for 7 years and how God miraculously came to their aid–because of the prayers of a great man/woman. We’ve seen graphs of unthinkable monatary success with God given a footnote of credit.  We’ve heard people say “I know if I hadn’t prayed for my husband that night he would have died.”

Don’t get me wrong: there is nothing wrong with telling of God’s great works, we just have to be careful we aren’t using God’s generousity on our behalf as a means of self-promotion.

Paul had more to boast of than anyone but he chose to boast in what God did despite him, not because of him.  He said he would boast of nothing but Jesus.  He was thankful for anything that kept him from being able to take credit.

Recently I found myself thinking in just this way.  I simply had to repent and say “God, if you give me anything may it always be in spite of my best intentions. May I be as a blind man who occassionally stumbles into the light by your grace. May I never be able to take credit for Your works.”

I would much rather be a fool that God blesses anyway than a self-described wise man who knows just what to ask for.