Step 1: Foster your own personal mystique.

Cult leaders are successful because they behave in a way that invokes admiration and trust.  You must act and speak with absolute confidence. Your knowledge should seem other wordly and not rely on common sense. Cult followers do not like common sense. They want to believe that the rest of the world is and possibly always was wrong.  If they don’t see you as possessing special abilities to understand the past and prepare for the future, you will not last long.

This also implies that you begin somewhere where no one else knows you. As Jesus (See Step 3) famously noted, “A prophet has no honor in his own country.” Keep your past shrouded in mystery and destiny.

Step 2: Other beliefs be damned.

Cults cannot be “another way” they must be the only way.  You, as leader, must require that those who wish to follow you reject every other belief system and separate themselves from friends and family members who do not share the cults beliefs.  Most potential cult followers come from dysfunctional families and will jump at the chance separate themselves from the rest of society. They are already outcasts, they are just waiting for someone to affirm their lifestyle. Isolation also protects from dissenters and reason. 

Step 3: Jesus was just a really nice guy.

If your cult is going to work, it is important that Jesus be portrayed as a really nice guy who in no way was God. This is especially important for cults started in Western culture due to the extremely large influence Judeo-Christian beliefs hold.  In addition to being the cornerstone of the world’s oldest and most popular religion, Jesus is also infamous for making rather exclusive statements about himself. (“I am the way, the truth, and the life.”) When this is considered, the neccessity of removing Jesus’ divinity becomes clear.  You may find it helpful to emphasize the importance of Jesus’ example as a Jewish teacher.  This compromise will allow you to establish your own “way” while still giving lip service to the rest of the world’s Hero. There are simply no reputable cults who do not follow this rule.

Step 4: Pick a doctrine and a destination.

Most cults operate on simple premises with an extremely complex web of inferences that possibly no one, even the cult leaders, understand.  Joseph Smith was a prophet. (Mormons) The world is ending in 1900 1914 1918 1970 the relatively near future. (Jehovas Witnesses) We are all spiritual aliens living an infinite number of lifetimes over many trillions of years. (Scientology).  The complex pyramid of beliefs upon which this central doctrine rests will give your followers the confidence that there are many questions and as many answers…all of which you have and most of which they may not be entitled to without due service.

Equally important is the destination: What are you working towards?

Will your followers eventually become gods? (Mormonism)
Will they work to become part of an extremely exclusive group of those who are permitted to go to heaven? (Jehovas Witnesses)
Will you all committ suicide? (Heaven’s Gate, Movement for the Restoration of The Ten Commandments, etc)

Without a destination or goal, your cult is unlikely to ever get off the ground.

Step 5: Keep em’ busy and under control.

You aren’t just designing a belief system; you are designing a way of life.  Your moral system should provide as much activity as it does prohibit activity.  This can be anything. Other succesful cults have required large amounts of money for training, constant proselytizing, reproduction, etc. Be creative. Don’t be afraid to try something new.  You can also win points by prohiting activites the rest of the world sees as harmless. Popular selections include: alcohol/coffee/meat during the winter (Mormons), birthdays (Jehovas Witnesses), medication (Scientology, Christian Science), or even sex (The Shakers).

Don’t under estimate the value of a scape goat.  From time to time, it important to instill a sense of fear in your followers.  Kick skeptics out early and often. This display of your power will encourage others to follow your rules closely lest they also lose their position in your community.

Step 6: Establish home base…and a newsletter!

An easy way to control the behavior, cohesiveness, and outside contact of your cult is to establish a compound, perferably in a rural area.  Doing so helps foster a sense of community. Through believing and behaving identically, the self is demphasized and your ability to appear God-like or Supreme is enhanced. Everyone wins!

Some may find this model too restrictive, preferring instead to attempt mass appeal. This can be done by publishing and distributing a cult newsletter.  Great care should be taken to make this publication look as legitimate and non-cult like as possible.  Use an abiguous name and establish false credibility.  A good example of this would be The Watchtower, a publication of the Jehovas Witnesses.

Step 7: It’s all about the conspiracy.

It is human nature to love a good conspiracy.  The truth, by comparison, is often very droll.  The rest of the world is unlikely to embrace you, your belief system, or your followers. You must convince your loyalists that your cult represents the last remnant of truth. Everyone else – religious leaders, governments, agnostics, Miley Cyrus - is trying to supress the truth because they are afraid that the rest of the world will be equally liberated.

Step 8: Don’t be afraid to play the victim card.

Your followers are more likely to devote themselves to you and your cause if they see you as a perpetual martyr, fighting the good fight.  We all love underdog stories.   Handle persecution with “righteous” anger or surreal calm. Either response will garner you more respect and devotion.

Step 9: Profit

Once you have your followers full indoctrinated, procuring the funds you need to build a mansion, buy a yacht, or enlarge operations should be easy.  Your followers are likely to see their money as a community asset and sacrifice whatever neccessary for the good of the cult.

Step 10: Above all else: have fun

Don’t be afraid to do something crazy. Want to write your own translation of the Bible? Go for it! (Mormons, Jehovas Witnesses, etc) Want to have sex with your friends’ wives? It’s as easy as writing a new revelation. (Joseph Smith, leader of the Mormons)

As cult leader, you will quickly find that there are few rules where you are concerned. Your followers, having forsaken family, friends, and wordly possessions to join your cult are likely to support you no matter how crazy your proposition.

If you don’t exploit this, why start a cult at all? 

There are limits, however.  While it may be fun, attacking a nearby city or massacring dissenters (both are famous Mormon past times) is the shortest route to imprisonment. So, unless this is part of your eventual goal (and it may be), try not to do anything that will require the local government to summon their militia. 

Now stop talking and go start a cult!

This sentence presumes that there are people with whom one cannot talk about God easily. Which is true. It is not easy to talk about spiritual things with those who are not Christians or those who claim to be Christian but bear no fruits.  However, if we assume that, as believers, we seek to explore the possiblity of a romantic relationship only with those who are growing Christians, this criteria of how “easily” you can discuss God loses meaning.  Talking about spiritual things should come naturally with those who are follower of Christ and in whom the Holy Spirit dwells.

What then, should be our criteria? If it isn’t the ease with which conversations happen, what is it?  I would suggest that what is really desired is spiritual compatibility. 

There are no two people who agree on every subject. There are no two people who relate to God in precisely the same way. There are no two people who approach the things of God the same.  And, if there were, I’m not convinced that this would be of value to you.  We tend to learn from others by where they differ from us. Proverbs 27:17 says that people build each other up as ”iron sharpens iron”.  Sharpening is only possible because of friction.  Without it, no change for good or bad will occurr. 

I will offer the caveat that my advice here is solely based in my experience and what I have learned in life. I do not have any “in context” Bible verses preaching spiritual compatiblity within a romantic relationship.  However, I think that these things can be inferred from common sense and Biblical principles.

With these things taken into account, I offer the following questions you may ask yourself about a person you are considering dating.

1. Are they growing spiritually?
   Does their life reflect a constant pursuit of God not only in knowledge about Him but in the knowledge of Him?
2. Are they teachable?
   Do they talk as though they have all of the answers and their search is in the past? Paul warns that “Knowledge puffs up” (1 Cor 8:1) and “let anyone who thinks he stands, take heed, let he fall” (1 Cor 10:12).
3. Are there fruits?
   Do they show, in some measure, the fruits of the spirit? Do they show love to those can help them and those who cannot?
4. Do they “get it”?
   There will be some believers who will always seem to miss the point of what you are saying. You will speak of something you learned in scripture and they will only follow your understanding to a point. You will express your heart and they will constantly misunderstand in some measure your point of view.
5. Are your interactions fruitful?
   When you discuss spiritual things, is there simply “information transfer” or are you constantly being compelled to seek God through your conversations? Does God speak to you through your interactions?
6. Do you have similar convictions?
   The goal here is not to have identical convictions, but compatible convictions. If you cannot watch movies because of your conscience, and they are employed as a movie critic, this may cause problems down the road.

Not only are these qualities to seek in a mate, they are also questions you should ask yourself from time to time. (Well most of them.)

Now go fall in love.
Clifton

Whether they admit it or not, most people like a little drama in their lives. It gives them a reference point for their emotions. With each bad swing of the pendlum, there is a good swing and oh how good that good is compared to the bad.

It’s when people are stuck in the middle that they start manufacturing drama. Without it, they don’t even feel alive.

The real problem, of course, is that people are unwilling to be content. They need friction. They need something to push against. People don’t like treading water.

Because of this, a person will look for reasons to blame someone else, or act aggressively.  The first handy scapegoat is often the person’s boyfriend or girlfriend. (Or any other friend depending on the circumstance.) They feel, whether they know it or not, that this will bring the real problem to the surface so that it may be vanquished once and for all. What actually happens is less useful. The non-guilty party is often injured by the unrequested, undeserved disturbance. The problem that “surfaces” is never the actual problem, because personal problems can’t be solved as relationship problems.

So why do people need friction? Quite simply, without friction, a person is free standing. They have nothing to distract them from who they are. If they do not know who they are, this becomes very evident. Instead of focusing inwardly and looking at the source of discontentment, the focus is turned outward and the problem is projected to someone else.

In the end, a vicious cycle forms. Lack of friction turns into a relationship problem, the solution of which results in lack of friction, which turns into a bigger relationship problem. Ad infinitum.

Eventually, this situation will self destruct.  Many times, the people involved have no idea why everything went so badly so quickly.

Whevener someone tells me they are mad at their girlfriend or boyfriend over something small and intangible, I turn the focus around on them. I ask them what weakness they are trying to fill. I ask them whether their discontent with their mate is really discontent with themselves.

When you’re alone, do you like who you are hanging out with? If not, work on figuring out why and in the mean time, take it easy on your friends. And remember: nearly every problem in life is a spiritual problem*.

This-isn’t-an-advice-column-just-mind-your-own-business,
Clifton

*Billy Graham