The more I use the word, the larger it is. 

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Introduction (aka, a refresher course on the how and why of my blog) 

In this blog, I generally avoid the personal.  Some would say that this contradicts the very essence of blogging. However, I do not consider a blog to be an online journal so much as a way for me to communicate thoughts: things I’m learning, things that God is teaching me, things that I think may be true.

I do this for a couple of reasons:

1. I know no one cares about the mundane details of my life and how I went to the grocery store and saw a little dog with a gimpy leg limping through the cold rain with the most poetic expression on its tiny, weathered face.
2. Unnecessary exposure of my life online leads to the unncessary exposure of my friends’ lives as well.

Consequently, I try to limit myself to generalities. I approach subjects from a philosophical standpoint, not from an anecdotal standpoint.  Why am I saying all of this?  Often times, what I am going through personally leads me to write about subjects and issues raised by these events.  Those closest to me can usually infer (I suspect) the source of these ramblings.

I say all of this to say: As a general rule, I would never use this blog to indirectly communicate things to my friends or bring attention, whether admiration or pity, to myself. If I have something to say to you, I will say it.  There are exceptions, including this very disclaimer.

With all of this said, I offer the following without superfluous details or hidden messages:

The Point

Yesterday I implied that circumstances in my life have made me choose between what I want and what God wants.  This choice has caused a healthy amount of stress and pain.  In the course of recognizing and dealing with this pain, I have been reminded of several verses in Job. (Not that my suffering even scratches the surface of what Job experienced!)

Firstly, Job says “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21) In other words, God is in control and everything he chooses to do is right and worthy of our praise.  If he gives us something, he is fully within his rights to take it away. We cannot accuse him. We can not claim that we have been robbed.

Job echoes this sentiment in Chapter 2 verse 9. In response to his wife’s advice (Curse God and die!) he asks “Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” I think this might be better phrased “Shall we receive things that make us happy from God and not things that make us sad?”

Beyond the obvious point that God is sovereign and all of his decisions are just and not contigent on how they make us feel, I think there is a deeper message to be learned. Pain is a teacher. We do not generally learn from that which does not provide resistance. 

How do we learn from pain?

By receiving it. I realize I may be leaving the bounds of the original context and meaning of Job 2:9, but bear with me. 

Most people will advise that pain should be avoided and waited out. 

“Take a vacation.”
“Find a distraction.”
“Have a beer.”
“Meet some new people.”
“Spoil yourself.”
“Buy a new toy.”

None of these things are inherently wrong, but I think that they (in most ways) prevent the individual from learning from the pain.  As Christians, we can be sure that God does not allow pain in our life for no reason. (See Hebrews 10)

So what am I saying? Am I saying that a person should wallow in misery? Should they sit in ashes like Job, scraping their boils with bits of pottery? Not necessarily.  What I am saying is that we should be willing to look whatever situation God places us in full in the face. We should be willing to accept the circumstances for what they are. We should seek to identify the rough parts of our life that find themselves in opposition to our circumstances. We should find the source of our pain and the lesson that accompanies it. (A sand paper analogy might work here.)

Don’t run away from grief. Understand it as best as you can and ask for God to give you a peace that allows you to exist harmoniously with full acknowledgement of your situation. Avoid solutions that simply allow you to keep your mind of it.

I read the following quote somewhere and as of yet have been unable to find the source:  “Anything that robs you of joy is an idol.”

I think this is a perfect summary of the lesson I am trying to learn. Pain often shows us that we have desires that supercede our desires for Christ. In other words, it often shows us our idols.  If you avoid it, you may inadvertently turn to other idols and ignore the idol which caused you so much pain in the first place.

And that’s all I have to say.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I’ve always enjoyed the Rober Frost poem, The Road Not Taken.  Every decision is done to the exclusion of all other possible decisions. Every decision is self-limiting. As we choose, we choose against all other possible choices.

As we approach the end of the year, I have been thinking about the things that have made all the difference in my life.

While I could look back at my accomplishments and failures and take pride in them or particular regret, there are no decisions I have made that have been crucial to the things that have happened this year.

What I have learned this year is that God is sovereign. He is in control and we can rest in that fact.

This year I started a new job. I bought a house. I bought a car. I’ve learned more about the loves of God, His Son Jesus, and what the cross really means for me.  I’ve made new friends.  It’s been a big year and maybe the best of my life.

But as I look at all of these good things, I’m reminded of the verse in Romans 9: It depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy.

Nothing good that I have received or accomplished this year can I take credit for. I did not seek my job. I did not seek to buy a house.  I didn’t seek anything with any broad reaching goal in mind.

The decision I made that led to me getting my current job was to randomly pick a student worker job off a list of ones in the IT department.  I had no plan to work for Liberty full time or anything else.  I was just ambitious enough to seek a park time, minimum wage job.  Everything that has happened since has been by God’s direct intervention.

The same can be said for my house. At the start of this year I had a great “plan” that included moving into a big house with 6 friends. In retrospect, this was a bad idea. Most of the guys that I had elected to move in with have now moved out of Lynchburg completely.  God had to start a fire in the house we chose the day after I had put down the deposit to change my plans.  Again, his direct intervention.

All of the things that have happened this year have been the result of me, bumbling almost aimlessly through my life, God pushing me to one side, opening a door, and allowing me to have just enough sense to take the opportunity in front of me.

And that has made all the difference…